grains of sand.

a dear friend stopped by this afternoon.  she has a daughter graduating from high school.  it reminds me of my son who graduated just a year ago.  if fact, her daughter will be attending the same college in the fall. 

she leaves.  i prep dinner {tandoori chicken with rice, broccoli & sauteed spinach (maybe too much leafy dark green), but it was delicious!}  peter & my precious brown eyed boy return from riding motorcycles in the hills near home.  brown eyed boy takes off his shoes and socks, dumping a load of sand on the wooden floor.  at first i find the grit irritating under my bare feet.  but then i remember, if it were not for him...my nest would be empty and the floor would be pristine. 

thanks God for the grit beneath my feet. 
i will vacuum tomorrow.

what are you wishing was perfect?   perfect isn't.  God is.

the magic word isn't please but thanks!

i have realized in this time of challenge that i have lived much of my life looking ahead to something better than my current situation; however, in ephesians God commands us to give thanks for everything.  i truly cannot be giving thanks for everything if i am longing for this day to rush past or looking forward to a particular season to pass quicker than it is.  at best i am tolerating...but God does not wanting a heart of tolerance, he commands a heart of thanks in all things.

in the book of john, Jesus has a crowd of 5,000 in front of him and he asks phillip where they might be able to purchase some bread to feed the mass of people.  phillip replies pessimistically that it would take eight months wages to purchase enough bread for each person to have a bite...one bite!  another disciple said he found a boy with some fish and bread.  Jesus takes the two small fish and five loves of bread and gives thanks.  He then shares the meal with the crowd, allowing each person to have as much as he desired.  once everyone was satisfied, Jesus had the disciples gather the leftovers so nothing was wasted.

i loved this story as a child because it seemed like a magic act...Jesus waved his magic wand and said the magical words and BOOM, there was enough for everyone and then some!  over the years, i have become hardened to the "magic" in the story. i have come before the Lord countless times asking for change...asking for renewal...asking for relief.  somewhere along my"adult" path, i have completely lost sight of the magic...His magic.  yes, i want my husband to be healed-i want my brown eyed boy to have a gentle, quiet spirit {not just when he is asleep}, i want our businesses to have positive cashflow...but that isn't what God wants my heart to be full of.  He simply wants my thanks.  He wants me to see Him in the midst of our struggles.  He desires for me  to sit smack dab in the middle of my life-right here today-and tell Him thanks just as Jesus did with the two fish and five loaves of bread.  Jesus embraced what seemed like not enough and gave thanks...God magically made more than enough for the crowd.  it is the expression of thanksgiving that created the abundance...not a prayer of change.

today, God...i have enough and am thankful. 

i have a guest from the outdoor channel!

so i have a precious guest feature on my blog...he would like to recount an adventure we embarked on this very morning!

my precious brown eyed boy says...

i called mom and sissy outside.  there was a bird nest on the patio cover.  there were two birdies inside.  they wanted to fly...i think for the first time.  we locked pennie {one of our dogs} in the dog kennel.  calvin {our other dog} went in the house to eat his dog food.  we accidentally left the house door open.  one of the birdies decided to jump out of the nest.  it landed on the ground.  calvin {our heathen dog}, ran outside and chomped on the little tiny birdie.  sissy grabbed calvin but the bird was dead.  feathers came out of calvin's mouth.  sissy put calvin in the dog run with pennie.  sissy and mom went in the house.  i stayed outside and watched to see if the other bird would come out of the nest.  it did and i said, "come outside, the birdie jumped out".  they didn't believe me, but they did come outside.  the second baby birdie was laying on the patio.  we thought it was dead, but after a few minute it started moving and was fine.  i had to go to school...mom and dad promised to leave the dogs in the dog run all day. when i got home from school, the baby birdie was gone, so everything is good.  we searched the whole backyard, but it had  "flew" way.  the dogs can go outside now. 

and he has a recipe to share:

brown eyed boy oreo shakes {his direct instructions}
3 scoops of vanilla ice cream
1 little bit of milk {whole milk is the best}

put it in the noisy blender for a short amount of time.

add 4 oreo "double stuffed" cookies

and blend for just a bit more.  and please, oh please, serve with a straw!

my fig leaf...or leaves

i had a collision today.  right on the 56 freeway as peter & i were heading to his weekly appointment with his lymes doctor...a book i have been studying and sunday's lesson from church collided right there on the 56 freeway.  thankfully there was no damage to us, the people around us or any property. 

in genesis, adam & eve are cast out of the garden of eden for eating from the tree of good and evil.  satan entices them into indulging in the one thing God has forbidden them.  He has provided for their every need & want with one simple request; yet, satan seduces eve into tasting the fruit.  her actions along with adams passivity cause them to see their nakedness as embarrassing and shameful.

now for the collision...not an actual collision but an epiphany of sorts...the book one thousand gifts focuses on the importance of giving thanks in everything...in all things, in all circumstances.  adam & eve were not thankful.  they wanted more.  satan duped them into thinking they did not have enough.  i realize my ungratefulness in this ungrateful world parallels adam & eve back in the garden.  i can use adam & eve's demise as an excuse for my discontent-my critical, never satisfied eye-my self condemnation...my "fig leaf".  i realize; however, my defense mechanisms are only a shameful way to cover what i hope others do not see in me.  again, the collision...but who do i please man or God.  He has all knowing eyes.  He sees right through my "fig leaf" and he wants to provide for me just as he provided for adam & eve.  in genesis 3:21 "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them".  you see, God provided for adam & eve in spite of their sin.  he sacrificed an animal and clothed them...i realized on that 56 freeway He is the same God today as he was back in that garden.  He has sacrificed for me...i must let go of my "fig leaf" and allow Him to provide & protect me.

what are your trying to hide with your fig leaf?

ingredient challenge=sun dried tomato hummus

when i was a child, i did not desire to become acquainted with garbanzo beans or "chickpeas" as my mom called them.  they sat at the bottom of our salad bowl...and then were washed down the drain when the dishes were cleaned up.  i did not have a like much love affair with those "chickpeas".  but then i grew up, and discovered hummus and always have a container or two of hummus in the refrigerator.  it's a delightful snack and spread on sandwiches!  even jeremiah has been caught snacking on hummus.

my recipe...sun-dried tomato hummus

1 garlic clove
1 can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
two fresh lemons, for juicing
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup oil packed sun-dried tomatoes, roughly chopped
fresh chopped basil

mince the garlic in a food processor {i received one of these for mother's day and i am unsure how i functioned without one for almost 25 years of marriage}.  add the chickpeas, lemon juice {try just one lemon at first}, 2 tablespoons water, salt and pepper.  process until smooth {i had been using my blender all these years-i should have had my head examined...how inefficient i have been}.  blend in the oil and process until completely smooth.  add the sun-dried tomatoes and basil blending until the tomato and basil are finely chopped.

serve with carrots, celery, snap peas, triskets, bavarian pretzels or the traditional pita chips or flat bread.  try endive leaves...they are the perfect "scoop".

potw...or photo of the week!

i know there are online journals and blogs that capture a photo a day, but i participate in something much more fun than an online photo journal...it is our family "photo of the week" or POTW.  i married into a very large family almost 25 years ago {i got hitched at 12...just kidding, i am gracefully trying to carry almost a half century of years around with me}, but today this family has grown by leaps and bounds with marriages and children-grandchildren-great grandchildren.  peter's sister, anne, decided about five or six years ago to start "photo of the week".  it was simple...we emailed, texted or mailed her a photo.  each friday, she would line up the weeks submissions and pick her favorite for the week and email it to all of us.  at the end of the year she sent a DVD with all of the weekly winners as well as all of the entries she had received over the year.  it is an amazing way to see the happenings in our very large family.

well this year, i am the keeper of the photos and just love the job...actually, calling it a job makes it sound like work and that it isn't...100% pure pleasure!

here are some of this year's entries...




peter's charming parents...his dad loves to cook cajun food!
85 & 86 years young and so precious!

 the youngest baby in the family...for a few more weeks!
sweet maya...she lives all the way in denmark :(
new babies always earn the winning spot of the week!

and sometimes we even go retro...
here is peter's brother, tom and sister, jill finishing a
half marathon in san diego in 1994...
this was one of this week's entries

here is another sister, susie & her husband...as you see we don't take life too seriously
and this little lady has an inner strength strong enough to hold up a home!



we have a family photobucket account, and i post the weekly photos there with the week's winner titled and also email everyone with the winning photo and the photobucket link...

BIG or small

it is a perfect way to stay connected with family in this busy world we live in...what moment will you capture and share with loved ones this week?

a saturday night...

it is 10:19...pm
the allure of sleep escapes me and i relish a restful night.  why sleep do you deny me?  what have i done to offend you?  i ran 12.6 miles hoping to wallow in sleepiness...

i am sensing...

seeing {shadows, while the bright computer screen begs me to stare into its blankness}

hearing {gentle, soft snore of a restful husband, gentle hush of sprinklers, watch tick tocking}

touching {warm laptop on lap! with keys under my fingertips, flannel pjs}

smelling {my night cream...not an overly pleasant smell...but worth the hope it will beg off wrinkles}

tasting {faint lemon in my cool glass of water accompanied by minty toothpaste}

feeling {blessed in my not so perfect world...peace in knowing i am not in control...joy in a day well done & a new tomorrow...thankful God has the path laid out for us}

learning {it isn't all up to me, just doing today...and doing it with His grace is enough}

what are you sensing this saturday night?

His plans...

so i was regretting mother's day...

it reminds me my mom has passed away.

my heart was sad because scooter was not coming home

he had come home & celebrated with me a week prior.

there were no real plans for the day and i was okay with that.

the agenda unfolded...

church-zoo with jason & amber-dinner on the way home.

that seemed a fine way to spend the day.

but then ams texted me on our way to the zoo...

jason's family invited us to join them for a lasagna dinner.

only because i didn't have a valid reason for saying "no",

i said yes. this wasn't how i had dreamed of spending mother's day.

i would never have planned the day this way.

we hadn't even met some of the people who were going to be at dinner.

after a full day at the zoo, jeremiah's behavior can be a crap shoot.

and...did i mention yet, scooter wasn't home?

i did not want to go...

but we went.

and i could not have been more delighted!

a warm, loving, gathering of people.

i was blessed to be sitting with my daughter's future family

laughing over lasagna & garlic bread.

jeremiah charmed jason's "miga" {grandma}

it reminds me...i love to make plans

i often forget to run my agenda by God.

may 8th i had no agenda-no plans-no expectations.

the day was perfectly planned by God.

He knew just what this "missing my mom-wishing all my birdies were in my nest"

mama bird's heart needed.

i must remember this every day...He is there to plan my day,

but i must set aside my agenda-plans-expectations.

His way is always better than my way...i must trust...he promises.

"for i know the plans I have for you declares the Lord"

jeremiah 29:11

{this photo has nothing to do with mother's day...it is the most recent photo of
me & the 3 precious souls God has trusted me with joined by peter & jason}






motherly sacrifices...

tomorrow is mother's day.

i miss my mom, yet know she is proud of the family i have grown.  

she is resting with our Father.

i will see her again some very far off day, but until then, memories of her are loving & dear.

there is another mom i always remember as i celebrate motherhood.

she carried our amazing brown eyed boy.

she named him jeremiah.

she tried to mommie him for a few short weeks.

she found the challenge beyond her abilities & made the ultimate sacrifice.

she gave him a new home & family...and an incredible future.

to her i am forever grateful.

thank you lanesha for letting go of this precious soul & allowing us to raise him.

happy mother's day.