Friday, July 20, 2012

just a week...

so a week ago we celebrated our three year anniversary....
no not of our marriage, you silly.
three years ago, a man that look very, much like clark kent, told peter and me that peter had early
 on-set alzheimer's.  all i could think was "hey clark...dash into a phone booth-turn into superman-fix this "curse word like poop" situation for me!

well...then we found out peter had lyme disease
and began on this journey of iv antibiotics and herbal elixirs.
and we have decided to celebrate as we press on.

i have realized there are days i would like to scream at the tippy top of my lungs at God for doing THIS to my husband.  there are days when i would like to smash every piece of glassware upon my wooden floor like i was celebrating at a jewish wedding.
perhaps a robust mazel toz would realign the planets in my favor.

i call a friend and she says "i will help you thru.  you can do this {what ever the hell this is} 
and your sweet brown eyed boy will be loved and survive this.
i turn to God and scream at you, God, not realize my checkered past in trusting You?
do you not realize i am raising a precious brown eyed boy that is only 9.
do you realize my sweet husband is far too young for an illness that he cannot recover from?

my head would like to tell me Jesus forgot about me {just like my daddy did when i was 18 months old...that i was of little importance}.
but the bible is so full of stories like mine-ours.
and somehow i realize my anger-doubt-questioning of God confirms one thing i cannot place a value upon.

if i question-i have faith.
therefore i will press on.


  1. I can't believe three years has past already! You and Peter truly are gifts from God!! Continued prayers for all of you!!

  2. thanks tiffany. it has been sooo long-but in it all God has provided and that part is awesome. but my human heart and head longs for it to be over and back to "normal". whatever the heck that means...

  3. Do you remember that feeling so very long ago of "How will I ever be able to do this ( whatever the heck this is!)?" Now it is 3 years later! You have shown all who know and love you (and others watching) what an incredible woman of God, with mighty strength who will do whatever it takes to help heal her husband who she loves so very much. Your example is truly a beautiful expression of love and that all things are possible with God.....and friends:) XOXO

  4. Thanks Gwynne for your so sweet words! You have been a rock for me during this ongoing season!