cliff jumping...

"mom, why are you so brave?"...sweet brown eyes ask at the end of an adventuresome day last month.  he was referring to us cliff jumping in mexico.  i was not wearing a nike swoosh on my bikini, but i  did it anyway.  in fact, there was no hesitation...i walked to the end of the platform and dove, head first into the "cenote".  i am learning bravery isn't about calming the doubting voice screaming for my attention.  it is about taking action in spite of the voice. 

i am not sure when the "doubting voice" showed up as it has been around for most of my life.  my best guess is i traded the "voice" for my dad who simply walked out of my young little life.  i was so innocent-young-naive, i did not know i could tell the voice it was not allowed to take permanent residence in my eyes-ears-head-heart.  it has grown into a more argumentative lecturer, casting shadows on every facet of my life.  i would try screaming louder or formulating a stronger argument, but the voice always seemed to swindle away my confidence.

i am learning to dive in spite of the doubts...God's grace and goodness are my safety net.  that brown eyed boy stood at the top of the cliff, doubting he could jump into the water-questioning his bravery,  i was there in the water coaxing him to join me.  instead of listening to the "voice" and retreating back to peter, he chose to leap from the ledge and land into the cool refreshing waters. 

i am brave because i want to teach my brown eyed boy that the begrudging voice is loud but God's quiet confidence it trustworthy...but we must leap to Him.

what will be your act of bravery even with doubt cajoling for your attention?