Thursday, November 22, 2012

thanks{giving}

thanks{giving}.
a time to show appreciation for what has been entrusted.
 
today i am giving thanks for a doctor that was both kind & bold.
words that were spoken honestly, yet carried a devastating outcome.
 
last month we met a new neurologist.
i had worked myself into an internal frenzy-sure he too would boost my weary soul with hope.
a false hope...like the eight other doctors before him each
embarking on a search to explain & cure peter's progressing dementia.
 
a slight, spectacled man.  soft spoken. 
attentive to my words & the ream of medical documents i produce.
 
so young, too young. he murmurs almost to himself. 
those words have echoed within the walls of far too many medical offices.
each time they are delivered, i feel like that insecure child that has cannibalized all ten fingernails down to their beds, leaving them raw-ragged-bloody
 while anticipating my name being called during second grade read aloud.
like me, all of the other doctors want to find a prognosis of  renewed health.
a miracle that will mend-fix-heal sweet broken husband.
however, spectacles deviated from the norm.
 
a malady with no known regimen.  the brain, encased in our cranium, is still mysterious.
even to the most brilliant doctor & scientist.
the why of peter's brain will continue to remain an unknown.
but his honesty...the dementia cannot be fixed or even stopped, was a blessing.
spectacles was confident enough, humble enough, honest enough-
against all odds, this should not be happening to my young husband,
but the reality is...he has beat the odds.
he is dying of dementia so young, too young.
 
today i am thanks{giving} to a doctor who granted the gift of freedom to just live
& allow life {and death} to unfold
while allowing hope to slip thru our fingers.
 
 
 
 
 

2 comments:

  1. I am thanks[giving] for the years Peter has blessed my life with his smile, humor, and kindness. I am thanks[giving] that I grew up down the street from the Minegar family who opened their door and hearts to me. The memories I have with the Minegar family [and Peter] will last a lifetime and are something that no one can take away.

    PRAYING FOR YOU & SENDING LOVE TO YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY!

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  2. You are so brave dear Chris! You choose to do the right thing (being thankful) even though it is so hard this I am sure of. Your words hit me deep in my soul, beautifully written from your heart. I am thankful that you show us God's grace in your life and are so real and transparent as you live out your live dealing with something that you or Peter never dreamed of. May God walk you through this journey daily.
    love you beyond words~

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