dear sweet brown eyes...

it someone's birthday today! yep, sweet brown eyes has two handfuls plus an extra to make him 11.

in what feels like a blur. we have gone from this-a few days after we met for that very first time,

 to this...a boy, quickly changing into a man, who is just a mere few inches shorter than me
{i am wearing heels in this shot & that's my other sweet son on the left}

dear sweet brown eyes-

thanks for teaching me to seek joy in the middle of pain.

your eagerness for life each morning is stinkin' contagious.
that morning latte is an essential to staying up with you.

you remind me there is a God & that He has all of "this" figured out.

not only have you grown me as a parent but as a person.

people often told daddy & me, we were saving you-changing your life forever.

you, son, are what is saving me in the middle of dementia.

you bring out that care-free girl who i buried in the back of my closet under the jeans that are too tight.
 belly laughs, wild & out-of-rhythm public dancing, eating popcorn in bed while watching duck dynasty.

you have taught me to push aside that uptight grown-up self that says "no",
no to giggling in church, no to extra dessert, no to swimming in the dark of summer nights

you remind me to delight in life...often.

happy birthday & thanks for calling my mom.

love you to the moon & back.

mama bird

dear lenesha-

though we have never met,

thanks for trusting me with your precious sweet brown eyed babe.

you chose to carry him & then bravely let go.

i pray you know how loved he is & what a blessing you have given me

especially in the middle of "this".

he is strong-humble-honest

& he looks just like you-long limbed, slender, flawless chestnut skin.

happy birth day.
grateful to the moon & back for trusting us with him.

beholden mama bird

dear God.

i appreciate you for having all "this" worked out.

there are days when i fret & fester over how it's all going to unfold.

but then i hear his raspy voice askin' for an oreo shake.

i am reminded of matthew 18:3 where you say

"unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven"

dementia & all its complications could suffocate my soul.

sweet brown eyes has changed me.

he reminds me to delight in the simple childlike ways of life-to be a joy seeker in the middle of sick.
to live deeply in the present immediacy of life & not in the what ifs of tomorrow.

thanks for loving me to the moon & back.

childlike mama bird